Reflecting

We made home! Barely but we did. Coming home was such a weird feeling. For the first time ever, it didn't feel like home. I kept wanting to turn around and just go back to Mali.
I've been home since Thursday night and i'm still physically and emotionally drained.  I keep looking at the clock and thinking about what I would be doing if I was still in Mali. I keep replaying events that happened throughout the 2 weeks.  All the babies I held, the people I met just everything there. I have probably looked at all of the Facebook pictures at least 764 times now.  I just keep saying a prayer for them when I think of them.
Saying goodbye was just as hard as I expected it to be. All of our brothers came and the Dabou family (JP's family) they prayed for us and sang a song which was saying God Bless you, Safe Travels things like that.  That's when I lost it. Hours before that my sisters and I were playing cards with Assouma, and hanging out with Anatole, then before we knew it we were leaving.
I had this terrible pit in my stomach coming home. Knowing that we were headed back to the US and they were still there. The things I worry about while back at home is silly. I get mad at myself because I keep thinking there is more I could have done while there. I always wonder why did God put me here and not somewhere else.  Why am I blessed beyond belief while others suffer on a daily basis? I think I said this earlier, but I don't know why God keeps Mali in my life. Maybe all he wants me to do is go on these short term trips or he's hinting at something else. I just keep praying that he will show me what he wants.
Tomorrow I'm heading back to IWU. That's when life will really hit me. I already feel overwhelmed and I'm not even there yet. But I already have a bigger appreciation for being able to go to a place like IWU.
My biggest fear is that over time, Mali will just become a memory or a thing of the past. I guess I really don't know how to end this. I'm still trying to process everything that has happened over the past 2 weeks. I guess I will end by remembering how mighty and powerful God is. I really can't wait to see how I change over the next couple of months.
Thanks again to everyone who was praying for us. Please keep praying for the people of Mali and that they may learn of the love of Jesus once the evangelism teams come in.