Intensity and Intimacy with God

I cannot believe it was one week ago that I was throwing my whole dorm room into boxes and bags. Now I am back home still trying to adjust. A lot has changed over the past eight months, both with myself and things here at home. Currently I am just trying to figure out how to go about each thing thrown at me. I keep saying it, but it is so true. The past eight months I have grown in so many different ways. I look back to September and see how good God has been to me.

I started work this week, which has been great to be making some money. But more than that, I have been getting in some really good habits. The best one I have (so far at least) is during my lunch time is just sitting, reading my Bible (digging into SO many good things) and praying. I am also starting a Bible Study of 1 John with my parents, which I am looking SO forward to. I asked them over Easter Break if they would be willing to sit down with me and just let me learn from them. My Saturday mornings will be spent with them learning and diving into 1 John (I will keep you updated on it don't you worry)

After reading Deuteronomy 18:15-19 this week. Something that I have been asking myself is how much intensity will I be willing to accept in my relationship with God? After God thundered from Mount Sinai as He gave Israel the Ten Commandments the people of God--His beloved, treasured people--asked not to hear His voice or see His fire anymore. (v.16) The intimacy was too overwhelming, His holiness too heavy. God actually agreed with them. (v. 17) It probably wasn't because He needed a little more space--in fact, He likely desired even greater intimacy--but because they weren't ready for the weight of glory. He sent Jesus to us, and Jesus sent His Spirit into us. I know I am not the only one, when we have these "mountaintop" experiences with Him, only to distance ourselves a few days later. I keep asking myself why is this?  Maybe its because the presence of God is too much to take. We want a certain level of intimacy, but when it's too intense, we get uncomfortable. So what am I asking of the Lord? God will draw you as close as you want to get. I believe that if you ask Him to back off, sadly He will-- for a time. If you ask for a deeper, closer relationship, you'll find that He wants it as much as you do, if not more.

I know what I want my relationship with God to look/be like but there are those moments I am scared. A relationship with God requires intensity and intimacy. It is possible that we can go through this life obeying God and His commandments, but yet not have an intimate relationship with Him. I get overwhelmed with so many different emotions, leading me to become uncomfortable. My prayer is that I will be able to be okay with being uncomfortable, and have a relationship that is intense but yet very intimate. God wants that intimacy.

I could keep going on with God and his intimacy with us but I will stop myself because there is so much to be said.

I am leaving you with Philippians 3:8-11, I don't know if it ties in at all, but I just felt like sharing it.

⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 

⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 

¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Peace and Blessings,
Liv